~ Marianne Williamson

All my life I’ve had the ‘she has so much potential’ label attached to me but, up until a few years ago, my life was decidedly disappointing.  Outwardly I would be fine, but my internal voice was saying something quite different and rang with the truth of a life lived in fear.

Then a series of events took place that meant I could no longer accept my life as it was.  The very short version goes a little something like this…

Get married to kindly man, become step mum  to a gorgeous 11 year old little girl, own mother dies, get pregnant, first redundancy, have baby (she’s beautiful), get post natal depression, relationship with step daughter breaks down and she leaves aged 17, marriage breaks down, ask kindly husband to kindly leave.

Me and my girls

During that time one question kept coming back to me, over and again, haunting me with its relentless insistence

“Is…this…it?”

The answer would come back to me loud and clear

“I fucking hope not, because if it is I may as well lie down right now, curl up my toes and die!”

That answer lit a fire inside me that compelled me to begin a quest; I wanted to know what my life could look like, if only I were brave enough to grab it and run.

Fast forward through tears, traumas, some crazy days (and nights), three more redundancies, naval gazing, fire walking, soul searching, strange jobs, a couple of unhealthy relationships (and one beautiful one) and you have an almost awoken and self-aware Ali.

But it’s a magic moment of serendipity for which I will always be thankful.  I was invited by a financial advisor friend to go to a networking meeting.  Having just tripped over self-employment, after redundancy number 5, it was an opportunity I could not refuse.

I was nervous in this new arena and terrified that I would be ‘found out.’  Who the hell was I to say

“Hey, come and use my services, I’ve only been in business 3 weeks and I’ve got no clients, but honestly, you’ll never regret it.”

That, however, is exactly what I did.

With no business plan or complete business proposition I rocked up to my first 4 Networking meeting on 7^th May 2010 in Orpington – dressed in my signature high heels, a polka dot dress and a big old quiff hair style.  What I received will be no surprise to anyone in 4Networking, but may be a surprise to you if you network elsewhere.

I was warmly welcomed for who I was and the skills I brought and took away the belief that I had found my market place.  I signed up that day and went about testing my pitch, developing my contacts and learning about this dark art of running a business.

Fast forward again to earlier this year and my world flipped once more, this time in an unexpected but amazing direction.  I was having a tough time in my role as group leader – successful and getting great results, but the old question had started to come up and I wondered once more

“Is this it?”

A great friend and true mentor, for whom I hold the utmost affection and respect, says there is someone I need to speak to, as things in Kent are about to change and I should be a part of that change.

And thus goes the first meeting of Gary Johannes and Ali Hollands…

“James Primarolo said I should talk to you.  Bloody hell – he wasn’t kidding when he said you look like Shrek!”

Gary looks at me, gives me that glint laden grin and the game is a foot.  I’m not entirely sure what happened after that, but the next thing I know Gary, with James working his wily mentoring voodoo on my brain, has given me an opportunity I can’t refuse.  I’m an area leader.

That’s still not the best part though, not even close.

This role has unlocked and awoken something in me that has been kicking its way out for years.  They called it leadership and I laughed in their faces, refusing to accept the part of me that has caused me so much trouble is in fact one of my greatest qualities.

“Leadership unacknowledged and undeveloped makes for one pain in the arse employee!” ~Ali Hollands, 2011

I’m still in my area leader infancy, but already I’m reaping the personal and professional rewards that come with this challenging role.  Now, alongside copywriting assignments for my own business, I set about developing and unlocking the success of the people in my network.

I seek out the hidden gems – the undiscovered, the overlooked, the almost there and then develop and polish them until they shine like the diamonds they are.   Those moments when someone’s light starts to shine are humbling and beautiful; the creative me revels and delights in my part of that creation.

In everything I do, I’m simply paying forward what was so generously given to me by my teachers, mentors, clients and friends within 4Networking and beyond.

They call it leadership, I call it freedom –my just blooming gift is to allow people to be the person they were always meant to be.  As the title of a rather famous book says, I strive to “Awaken the Giant Within“ in the people I meet.

Mum and me

Look at me now Mum

Right, I’m off to discover the secrets of hypnotic persuasive language and I just can’t wait!

So what do you do when you hit a creative wall, how do you lessen the panic, extricate yourself from its clutches, all the while protecting your customers and your brand?

You might want to try a few simple fixes from my personal tool kit; they are not a panacea for all creative ills, but are simply part of my list of ‘happy places’ that I inhabit in order to fight the black dog of creative block.

Protect Your Customers

First and foremost, if you are paid money for the work you creatively do and you know you aren’t going to make the deadline, you have to fess up.  If you’ve built a strong enough relationship and the job is not urgent beyond belief you might be surprised at how understanding your customers can be.

I once had to explain why a much anticipated website would not be ready on time.  I chose my moment, planned what I would say and gave them an honest appraisal of the situation.  It worked and two weeks later they had some cracking copy on their desk and were delighted to pay me, in full.

Be honest, attempt timeframes and if you get an adverse reaction, consider if the job or the customer matches who you are in business.

Protect Yourself

You will more than likely experience deep visceral panic when the penny drops that the ideas well has temporarily run dry.  The best cure for this panic is lots of support and reminding yourself about the work you’ve already created successfully.

Take heart from past success and past happy customers to give you the boost you need now to get you back in ring.

Get out of Your Head

Creative blocks are, let’s face it, your fears getting in the way of your muse.  Give yourself a break from your head and, in the words of an old BBC kids program (just carbon dated myself haven’t I) ‘Go and do something less boring instead’**.

Take a walk in the sunshine, go to a movie, buy the slightly too expensive magazine, get yourself bent at a Yoga class, go paintballing, climb a mountain, go sea fishing, read to the elderly, take the dog for a walk, take a run… get the picture?

A good friend put it very well when he said “Take a holiday from yourself.”

Look for the Inspiration

As a writer guess what, I read a lot; everything from leaflets, trashy magazines, blogs, ‘shelf help’ books, the odd classic and when the black dog is resolutely refusing to let go ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’; my all-time favourite book ever – fact.  I bury myself in the written word, swim in its beauty and play sand castles with its…yeah, yeah, you get it right?

Find what inspires you and indulge yourself to the point of intoxication.

Don’t Panic and be Brave

Easier said than done right, but it’s your responsibility to take control of that black dog and your emotions and train them to come to heal.  Ultimately, you’re the only one who can master the situation.

Panicking does not help, but it does mean you don’t have to face up to whatever let the black dog brought with it.

Be brave, go and…

…Catch the black Dog

So what triggered this block?  If you can, go back and relive the emotions you find there – it will give you clues to the way back and tools to help you stay confident, strong and inspired.

Deep s**t we’re going into here, so get your wellies on and let’s go digging!

And lastly, but maybe most importantly -

Be Kind to Yourself

Sounds simple, but guess what, you may find yourself having a bit of a cruel and unproductive internal conversation.  If you do, STOP, then ask yourself this question

“Is this how I would talk to my best friend if they were in the same situation?”  I’m guessing your reaction went something like this ‘Oh my Gawd, no way that is really horrible, what kind of friend would I be if I spoke to him/her like that?’

Stop beating yourself up and be gentle – accept you’re here and the way back becomes so much easier.

So there you go, a little bit of help from my black dog training kit (always with the dogs Mrs Hollands!)

Did you find anything useful here?  Let me know what helps you get your head straight and your muse back in the room.

*I am prone to being slightly over dramatic, you may have noticed.

** Why Don’t You?  Children’s TV programme of the 1970s.  So old (or so bad) I can’t find a YouTube clip.

No matter what the time of year; even during the deepest, darkest winter months I can still feel the freshness of a new day.  Long before the sun crawls bleary eyed over the horizon, I will be ensconced at my desk, hot tea for company, working away at nothing in particular or everything in the world.

Even during the traditionally somnambulant teenage years, my internal alarm clock would have me out of bed at the crack of ten, unlike my brother and many of my peers, who were not unknown to be wallowing in their respective pits (my mother’s expression) until three.  If I had school work to catch up on I thought nothing of setting my alarm clock to go off at four, allowing me to work before the dawn and before the house started buzzing into being.

The same is true today, I produce my best copy writing and can creatively solve any issue at five in the morning. I’m awake and up long before The Mouse, my daughter, totters her sleepy self down the stairs to demand sustenance, a cuddle and amusement.  Her descent is shortly followed by a crotchety old black cat who demands much the same, but with added meows.  Between them they can distract me for entire days.

I exist in an abundance of stimuli, that goes murch further than The Mouse and the Old Lady Cat, making it impossible to quiet my mind long enough to zero in on just the right idea. So I’ve come to think of those hours as meditation, although the closest I get to meditating is probably clutching a cuppa and watching the steam lazily float up to dissipate in the air above me.  It is the purest time of the day and those quiet hours have become my church.

Unfortunately, or is it fortunately, I can hear a general rousing coming from upstairs and a dull thud, which signals a furry black cat as she hops off a bed.  It looks like my meditation is over for the day, to be replaced by the delightful demands of my two favourite distractions.

Until next time, good morning.

That’s not what happened.

On the contrary – she was a squalling, unruly creature that completely baffled me; I had no idea how to handle her, or even what needed to be fed in one end and then how to deal with what came out the other.  I cursed roundly the lack of an instruction manual that was easy to use, especially whenever I was in the face of a crisis.  I couldn’t understand how other people seemed to find it so easy, when I found it such a struggle.

I can see now that my thinking was a bit off; I believed I was doing it all alone, without any support or help from the people around me.  I believed I should know the answers and that no-one would want to share what they knew with me. It made those first few months really tough.  Luckily I am the most stubborn person I know, so I gave her my attention, my intention, my attitude and my sheer bloody mindedness to succeed.

And you know what, the little blighter started to respond.  In no time at all I had her into a semblance of a routine, she was pretty much presentable to the public at large and I even managed to ask for a little bit of help; as I started to know what I didn’t know, it made asking for support and guidance that much easier.

After a while I joined a group, where lots of other people brought their little creations, in the hope that each one of them would help my little one to develop and grow.  In my happy little world I my baby grew and I watched her begin to blossom, turning into something that was actually interesting to be around – no longer the amorphous blob she started out.

Now, on her first birthday, I see before me a sturdy little thing, still such a long way to go, but with those crazy first months behind her.  Maybe still just a ball of potential, but with the beginnings of true greatness. I am proud of my little offspring and I can’t wait to see what the next year brings.

Happy Birthday Handson Associates, you’re one year old today.

Mummy loves you.

P.s. To all my friends in 4Networking, without you there would be no birthday today.  Thank you.

Picture courtesy of The Fondant Fairy

Link to The Fondant Fairy.  She makes delicious, unusual and fabulous cakes

“I want a dog or a baby, I don’t care which, but I’m getting one of them.  You choose.”

He was both a clever man and held a firm distaste for dogs, so wisely went straight for ‘baby’.  Nine years on and one gorgeous daughter later that desire is anything but diminished, in fact last week I stopped my car to ask a stranger what breed of dog he was walking.

I dream about getting a dog, I see them everywhere, my daughter and I have big conversations about what sort of dogs we like, she even has a spotter’s guide (and fills it in)….we’ve become a little obsessed.

Funny then that somebody should ask me directly this week “Why did you start your business?”  My stock answer is that after five redundancies it seemed like the only logical course of action.  On one level, it is true, but not the whole picture.

During my naval gazing weeks on the sofa, after the fifth and most brutally personal  redundancy, I pondered many questions, mostly pointless, but a few absolute gems that I’ll share with you.  They have been fundamental in shaping this part of my life..

‘What am I passionate about?’

‘What would my perfect life would look and feel like?’

‘What do I stand for, what am I about?’

‘Who do I want to be?’

The answers to those questions form the basis of what I do now, how I live my life, where I’m heading and who I share my time with.

In less than one year I’ve set myself up as a copywriter, built a wide ranging network, completely changed the relationship with my daughter, met some of the most inspiring people I’ve ever encountered and started to lay long term plans for an exciting future.

I’ve already achieved so much, but of the things that are still on the ‘to do’ list, those markers of success, one is conspicuous for its absence.  That one is smallish, furry to the point of scruffy, has the heart of a lion and a ‘smile’ that spreads from ear to floppy ear.

After 10 years I am still, yes still, waiting for my dog.

One Day You will Be Mine

What might happen if you find some dried up, out of date seeds, chuck them on your garden and leave them to fend for themselves?  At best nothing, at worst a forest of weeds that leads people to think students have taken up residence.

What would happen if instead, you lovingly prepare the soil, plant the healthiest, freshest seeds, water just the right amount and keep the garden free of weeds and unfriendly bugs, to allow your precious charges to grow to their full potential and the celebrate the beauty and bounty that you created? The likelihood is you have a garden that gains admiring and envious glances from all those that pass by, who may even stop to ask you how you did it.

Which leads me ever so carefully and subtly onto my next question – how do you treat your website?  Are you a plant and walk away or a constant gardener? If you are the former, for whatever reason, be it time, money or simply not having a clue where to start you are almost certainly losing out on valuable traffic and enquiries. OK, that’s the bad news out the way; would you like the good, perhaps great news?

Firstly, you are not alone; small businesses are under huge amounts of pressure every day to be the master of all trades that the business demands and, even if you have a small team around you, getting the job out the door will always be your top priority.  Keeping your website updated and fresh, doesn’t even make the top ten list for most companies and even if it does, I’d lay short odds that finding the space in your schedule is a herculean struggle that you often, to put bluntly, fail.

Ah yes, the good news is still sounding bad, hold on I’ll make it better for you right………..NOW.

I’ve come up with a nifty little plan to help you keep your website juicy, abundant and lush with new content, for the clever little hoojamaflips, also known as the common-all-garden google spiders, that crawl in and out of your website.

Regular, unique content

I want to provide you with a unique monthly piece of content which I create just for you, to enhance not just your google rankings, but also and in my opinion most importantly, the value of your site.  I can produce a blog post, news update, web page content or article.  Upgrade options are video clips, audio download and sign up hook products (giveaways that people get in return for giving you their contact details); whatever you need to help your site blossom into a garden of delights that bring customers buzzing like bees to blossom.

12 month program of improvement

The idea is to get on board for 12 months, agreeing a regular monthly fee, which in return guarantees you a new piece of content to upload every month.  We can make life even easier by liaising with your web designer for the quickest cheapest way to get the job done.

For a website garden of delights call on 01622 675 645 or email us here.

Massive amounts of pain

Minimal amounts of pleasure

I pray your indulgence and ask that you stop by every now and again to read what is going on in the world of the wordsmith and associates and see just how far I have got in my wordpress battle, because I am predicting great things for the not too distant future.

I am positively delusional in the glass half full department sometimes too….